Friday on Beyond the Gates, Vanessa confronts Joey over a lie, Hayley continues her slow-motion social crash, and Dani drops wisdom with a side of venom. Here’s your full episode recap, sassified to perfection.
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Vanessa & Joey |
Vanessa’s Gut Says “No,” But Her Heart Says “Zaddy”
Let’s get something straight right out of the gate: Vanessa is not here to be played. Or at least, she keeps saying that—right before she lets Joey charm his way out of a very public, very messy lie. Friday’s Beyond the Gates full episode recap kicks off with the sexy deception of the hour: Joey’s tragic tale of buying a home for his recently-deceased mother.
Except—plot twist—Mama Joey’s been six feet under for a whole year. Ted exposed this little nugget like he was auditioning for Dateline, and Nicole, bless her meddling soul, wastes no time warning Vanessa. She’s basically waving red flags in the air like she’s at a Formula One finale. Even Diego joins the chorus of concerned citizens, but Vanessa’s too busy ranking his jealousy on the hot-to-not scale to take it seriously.
Still, once Nicole drops the death bomb, Vanessa can't help but lean into her gut (which, according to her, has “never been this off”—we’ll see about that, babe). She confronts Joey with the subtlety of a wrecking ball: “Why am I shopping for a house for a dead woman?” Honestly, iconic delivery. Joey, ever the smooth operator, hits her with a Hallmark-grade excuse—he was too embarrassed to admit the house was for himself because she’s too beautiful. Uh-huh. The audacity.
And instead of kicking him to the curb, Vanessa does what any soap siren caught in a web of lies would do—calls him a “zaddy” and agrees to keep house-hunting. Sis, your standards are on life support.
Hayley’s Social Freefall Continues
Meanwhile, Hayley is out here treating Naomi’s personal life like an open bar—grabbing anything within reach, even if it's toxic. At Orphey Gene’s, she runs into Derek (yes, that Derek, Naomi’s friend's boyfriend) and practically throws herself a pity party while fishing for forgiveness. She’s giving “please invite me back to the family brunch” energy, and it’s not cute.
Derek, being the level-headed himbo he is, suggests she find a new social circle because Naomi's door is locked, bolted, and probably hexed at this point. But Hayley’s not trying to move on. Instead, she schedules a cozy little hangout with Becky—one of the women named in Naomi’s lawsuit.
Nothing screams “change of heart” like trying to sabotage a settlement while your arch-nemesis walks in mid-conversation. Naomi shows up just in time, probably radiating enough rage to power a small city, and Hayley is officially caught trying to lawyer-shop through the back door. Classic Hayley—wrong room, wrong time, wrong move.
Dani’s Serving Legal Realness with a Side of Shade
Now let’s talk about our resident queen of composure, Dani. This woman may have the poise of a duchess, but don’t mistake her for someone who bites her tongue.
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Dani | BTG |
First up, we check in on Bill, who’s literally clutching his chest at work like he’s in a telenovela. Naomi calls 911 faster than you can say “malpractice,” but Bill insists he’s fine and even manages to toss in a zinger: “If that was true, your mother would have killed me years ago.”
Later, Naomi heads to Dani’s for some maternal advice, but instead of stoking the flames of courtroom vengeance, Dani flips the script. “The scorned woman in me would love scorched earth,” she admits, “but the mother in me says step back.” She tells Naomi to consider passing the case baton to another lawyer since it’s already strong without her. But naturally, that just fuels Naomi’s fire.
Knowing full well what kind of beast she’s reawakened, Dani rings up Bill with a very warm warning that feels like a silk glove wrapped around a dagger. “The person who can hurt Naomi the most is you,” she tells him. Translation: tread lightly, or I will end you... legally.
Lights, Camera, Cringe: Andre’s Documentary Debut
Back at Garland Memorial, someone thought it was a good idea to let a documentary crew in, because nothing says “healing” like public awkwardness. Andre is directing this emotionally-charged exposé, but Ashley immediately hijacks the narrative during her interview. Rather than sticking to the script, she makes it all about that elevator incident with Derek, because of course she does.
Andre’s trying to stay professional, but Derek’s follow-up interview is so bland it makes unsalted crackers look spicy. So what’s a producer to do? Stick Ashley and Derek together on camera. And that’s when Andre realizes he’s not over her. You could practically see his heartbreak peeking out from behind the lens.
The whole segment plays like a reality show meets therapy session—tense, messy, and painfully real. It’s the kind of thing that makes you want to grab popcorn and a stress ball.
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